You've been dumped.
Ah the break up. No matter how old you get, no matter how many relationships you have, no matter how thick your skin is, everyone has to experience at least one devastating break up. It usually happens in your early twenties, you fall hard, maybe with someone you perceive to be out of you league. It's tumultuous from the start, with emotions at a boiling point almost immediately (a side effect of falling head over heels). And then suddenly, it's over. And you're dying inside. You'll never be the same again. You'll never love another person. Or maybe you'll just hang around in pyjama pants for a few days drinking wine. Well, if there's one thing I've learned from repeated heartbreak, it's nothing gets you through those black days and weeks better than music (booze comes in a close second).
So, as a public service to every heart broken guy or gal out there, here it is.
Ten Albums (and Ten Drinks) to Ease You Through A Break Up
They're in descending order from Most Heartbroken to Almost Recovered. So let's start it off with the worst.
10. Tom Waits - Small Change
Step right up dejected youngsters and let me teach you a little something about broken hearts. If anyone had ever attempted to distill the sound of a heart tearing in half, the result surely would have been Small Change.
A whiskey soaked masterpiece that reeks of cigarette smoke and cheap hooch, Tom recorded it in 1976, in the midst of his Jazz influenced, drunken beatnik persona. And he definitely lives up to it on this album. From Bad Liver and a Broken Heart to The Piano Has Been Drinking to the excellent advice on Invitation To The Blues, Tom keep's the tone of the album set strictly to devastation. But amazingly, it's the album's opening track that nails the entire thesis down in under seven minutes. Tom Traubert's Blues, largely based on an 1890 Australian folksong, takes it's tone from it's own subtitle, Nine Sheets To The Wind in Copenhagen. Though he claimed many different inspirations for this particular song (in a famous Australian bootleg he refers to it's subject matter as 'throwing up in a foreign country'), his producer on the album, Bones Howe, had this to say about the song's genesis:
"He said the most wonderful thing about writing that song. He went down and hung around on skid row in L.A. because he wanted to get stimulated for writing this material. He called me up and said, 'I went down to skid row ... I bought a pint of rye. In a brown paper bag.' I said, 'Oh really?'. 'Yeah - hunkered down, drank the pint of rye, went home, threw up, and wrote 'Tom Traubert's Blues... Every guy down there ... everyone I spoke to, a woman put him there."
Amen to that.
Coinciding Drink = Bottle of Glenlivit Single Malt Scotch, Glass, No ice, sitting on the Floor of your apartment, with a picture of him/her in your hand.
9. Joni Mitchell - Blue
Oh, poor Joni. Where to start on this tear stained masterpiece. A breakup album spanning at least three relationships, this album has the distinction of being so incestuous as to employ two of her former lovers as session players and one as producer. A heroin ravaged James Taylor plays occasional guitars, and a coke fueled Stephen Stills contributes his own six string accompaniment on songs that may have actually been inspired by the men themselves, all while a third lover, David Crosby, was overseeing the album from the booth. Jeez. Talk about masochistic.
I own most of these albums on vinyl, and that's where they hit you the hardest. The first side of this album is all promise and excitement, inspired by Joni's European sabbatical where she wrote much of the music of Blue. But on the last track of side one, the clouds start to roll in. "Everybody's saying that hell's the hippest way to go, Well I don't think so But I'm gonna take a look around it though".
Side B starts off with California, a fairly upbeat song that inspired Zeppelin to write their own ode to the Sunshine State, and then takes an abrupt turn towards affairs of the heart. This Flight Tonight tells us that maybe leaving isn't always the best way to escape, while River remains possibly the saddest Christmas Carol ever written. Although the album closes with The Last Time I Saw Richard, I always thought it's emotional centerpiece was A Case Of You, and the last refrain tells the whole sorry tale:
"You're in my blood like holy wine, you taste so bitter and yet so sweet, oh I could drink a case of you and I'd still be on my feet". Drink up, Joni.
Drink = A Case of J Lohr Seven Oaks Cabernet Sauvignon, Still on the Floor
8. Whiskeytown - Stranger's Almanac
What would heartbreak be without country rock? It'd be fucking boring, that's what. Ryan Adam's old band had their major label debut in 1997 with this album, and the wounds of love colour this as much as any of Adams' later solo work.
A bit more upbeat than the previous two entries, this album serves as the soundtrack to a very important part of the grieving process : loudly (and drunkenly) slandering your ex. This part requires the help of two or three close friends, a few bottles of strong hooch and a nice sound system to blast the music from while agreeing with everyone that "That bitch wasn't worth it, man" or "You know he wasn't good enough for you, he was a complete loser". It's ok, they don't really mean it (usually), but there's something about country music that makes everyone want to act like a relationship psychiatrist. Go with the catharsis, you know you'll just be texting them at 1am anyway.
Oh, and be forewarned. The songs may sound upbeat but by the second track on the album, you know exactly where you are:
"Well excuse me if I break my own heart tonight, some things aren't born too strong and have to learn how to fight, this situation keeps me drinking every goddamn day and night, this situation don't seem so right.".
Drink = Wild Turkey 101 and Coke, plenty of ice, and a pack of Marlboros, sitting at your Kitchen Table
7. Bon Iver - For Emma, Forever Ago
Oh dear. You messed up, didn't you? You woke up in the morning (instead of the afternoon or evening), got out of bed, showered, shaved or did your hair, put on your sunglasses and went out into the world. It's been a few days or a week, and you just feel...ok. You feel like, alright, I can do this. It's not such a big deal. I feel fine. I'm going to get back to my life.
Then someone walks by you wearing her perfume or you see a guy that looks like him or you hear a song on the radio that used to remind you of how much you two were perfect for each other, and the facade collapses, and you're back in the fetal position on the couch, watching Seinfeld reruns and ignoring your roommates pleas to at least put some pants on. You need a breather.
Bon Iver is not really a band so much as one guy, Justin Vernon and, as the title indicates, this album was written at the end of a relationship. But under very interesting circumstances.
After breaking up with both a band and a girl, Vernon retreated to a rural cabin in Wisconsin for a few months, and recorded this whole album himself by overdubbing all the vocals and instruments. What resulted was an album that projects the very essence of mourning in the depths of winter. Vernon sings the entire album in a whispery falsetto that is at times both comforting and foreboding, and his lyricism is matched only by his ability to stretch thin production and low fi recording into an almost symphonic depth. When he screams "Now if all your love is wasted, then who the hell was I?", his pain is palpable, and when he whispers "All my love was down in the frozen ground", you can almost feel the cold.
Drink = Sailor Jerry Rum and Ginger Beer (a Dark and Stormy), in a chair by the window.
6.Bob Dylan - Blood on the Tracks
Where would we all be, musically, without good ol' Bobby Zimmerman?
Regarded as one of the classic breakup albums, Blood tells the story of Dylan's separation from then-wife Sara Lownds (a union that gave birth to singer songwriter Jakob Dylan of the Wallflowers). The songs were recorded twice, once fully in New York and again in Minneapolis, with tracks from both sessions included on the final album. From Tangled Up In Blue to Buckets of Rain, the songs on this album put forth stark and honest questions about love and loss, about innocence and betrayal, and about dealing with hating and loving someone at the same time. When Dylan sings "Suddenly I turned around and she was standing there...", you hear a kind of emotional honesty you don't usually get from a musician of his status and reputation. Just goes to show you what love can do to even the most stoical heart.
Drink = Cheap red Wine, on the Couch
5. Derek and the Dominos - Layla and Other Assorted Love Songs
This one is a tough one. This is the part where you're leaving drunken answering machine messages and texting a hundred times a day and updating your facebook status seven times a day with lyrics that remind you how sad you are (which is every song in the world). You all know the story (or you should), but for those not in the know, let me break it down.
Eric Clapton, guitar god, is friends with George Harrison, Beatle. George is married to Pattie Boyd, model. Clapton want Pattie. Patti rejects him. Clapton wants cocaine. Cocaine does not reject him, and neither does heroin. Pattie eventually leaves George for Clapton, and they get married, but the marriage doesn't last (these affairs never do), and from this awful experience, one of the greatest rock albums of all time was born (George and Eric remained friends).
Everyone knows the title track, with it's shredding guitar lick (curtesy of Duane Allman) and piano coda. But for me, it's the second track on the album, Bell Bottom Blues, that does it:
"Do you wanna see me crawl across the floor to you, do you wanna hear me beg you to take me back? I'll gladly do it."
A sprawling double album, perfect company for a long, dark night alone with your thoughts.
Drink = Whatever you want, Just stay away from the Junk
4.Jackson Browne - Late For The Sky
This is one of my personal favorites. You might know Jackson Browne best from a song recorded by another band. "Take It Easy", one of The Eagles many hits, was written by Browne, and many of the eagles play or sing on this album.
Though many of the songs on this album hold amazing melodies and lyrics, the standout track is, again, the first on the album and also the title track. Late For The Sky, dominated by David Lindley's mournful slide guitar and vocal harmonies from Don Henley and JD Souther, this masterpiece may be the best example I've heard to date of a broken man asking "why?" to nobody in particular. It also boasts my all time favorite lyric:
"How long have I been sleeping, how long have I been drifting alone through the night, how long have I been dreaming I could make it right if I closed my eyes and tried with all my might to be the one you need."
After this chorus is a musical break, a single snare shot bringing us back from the brink to a Lindley slide solo that sounds like a prayer.
Drink - Gin and Tonic with a splash of Bitters, at your Piano or, failing that, a good book
3. Beck - Sea Change
On the road to recovery, we have Beck's great breakup album. All desert wind and sunrises, change is the essence of this record. The opening lines, "Put your hands on the wheel, let the golden age begin" tell us that maybe, just maybe, everything's going to be alright. This is the perfect come-down record for when the sky doesn't seem quite as dark, the world maybe a little less mean, and the pain a little subdued. Put the needle to the groove and let the relaxed instrumentation take you away to a place in your mind that belongs to you, and you alone.
Drink = Coronas with a lime wedge on the Deck. Get outside.
2. Brendan Benson - My Old, Familiar Friend
"I fell in love with you, then out of love with you, then back in love with you all in the same day" Benson sings on the opening track of this album from the guy in the Racontours who isn't Jack White. There's something about this guy's voice and his arrangements that make it feel kind of timeless, like Buddy Holly or The Everley Brothers. This is the music that takes you out of your house and gets you back functioning as a normal person again, showering once a day, laughing it up, and keeping your cell phone firmly in the 'off' position after midnight. Every now and then you might think about them, but you feel like you've gotten through the worst of it, learned something, maybe even become a better person because of it. After all, he says "I fell in love with you", but he also says "I feel a whole lot better when you're not around".
Drink = Vodka and Tonic, at a bar
And the final stage.
1. Bright Eyes - I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning
You've come full circle, and it's all here on this album. Grief, regret, catharsis and triumph, as well as some of the most beautiful music recorded in the past decade. With guest harmonies by the always amazing Emmylou Harris, Conor Oberst managed to record an entire album of excellent songs about not only heartbreak, but about redemption and the changes that come along with love and loss.
Well there you go. It's over, or it's just beginning, depending on which way you look at things, and you've become the person you used to be again. You've lived through something that everyone must, at some point, conquer. And you're left with a lot of time passed but not wasted, and maybe even a few lessons learned. And you're still not quite sure what to make of this whole 'love' thing, but maybe next time, things will be different.
"So I go back and forth forever, All my thoughts they come in pairs, Oh I will, I won't, I doubt, I don't,I'm not surprised but I never feel quite prepared."
But I doubt it.
Drink = Whatever you buy that pretty girl at the other end of the bar.
And here we go again.
-M
